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Welcome to ShitBegone.
ShitBegone toilet paper is a quality product that exemplifies your attitude and approach to life.
Part journey of discovery, part assertion of responsibility, part embrace of life, ShitBegone expresses hope and belief that a better world is possible.
ShitBegone is 100% recycled paper. Our rolls are 2-ply, 500-sheet, and individually wrapped.
Most ShitBegone customers order our product in bulk from our online store. Our prices are very reasonable and if you aren't used to buying toilet paper in bulk, you will be surprised and delighted how convenient it is.
ShitBegone toilet paper is unembossed— meaning you get more strength, more sheets, and the true softness you need— without the "hot air" of other brands.
For best results, ShitBegone (as all toilet paper) should be used folded, not crumpled. Folding toilet paper instead of crumpling it makes it feel softer, and saves paper too. Here at ShitBegone, we don't mind if you use less toilet paper— in fact, we'd prefer it. Just as long as you use ShitBegone.
For more background on ShitBegone, you can visit the blog, the about us page, and the recycling page.
Unembossed— what's all that about?
That gets to the deeper philosophy behind ShitBegone. ShitBegone is truth in marketing. We sell unembossed paper because it's a better value. Our 100% recycled, unembossed paper is cheaper, easier, and more efficient to make— and just as good to use as even the most expensive, heavily marketed, 100% virgin fiber competitor.
(Who but a true asshole, would sell something that was made of 100% fresh ground up forests— more expensive than necessary— and engineered to encourage overuse? That's corporate America for you...)
Here's the key: instead of puffing ourselves up with air, ShitBegone is content to be soft where it counts— against your ass.
We reject the idea, which other companies have advertised for years, that toilet paper is only soft if the roll feels squishy in your hand. The truth is it doesn't matter a bit how soft the roll feels, since it's not the roll you will be wiping with!
Instead, you wipe with just a few sheets. Some people crumple them, but the better way is to fold them.
When you crumple toilet paper, just like if you crumpled a piece of writing paper, it gets sharp edges and corners. Why would you want sharp corners on your toilet paper? Like all paper, toilet paper feels smoothest when it is flat.
Folding, instead of crumpling, also helps you use far less paper— saving energy, resources and money.
If you are worried that folded paper will break or tear, just fold it over again to make more layers. With ShitBegone, I usually tear off 3 or 4 sheets, and fold them over twice for a total of 4 sheets (8 plys) thick. But even if you tear off 6 or 8 sheets at a time, and make a pad 24 layers thick to wipe yourself with, you will still use less paper than most crumplers do.
Now that you are wiping properly, you see how the true softness you feel is just the smooth texture of the individual sheet of paper, which is why you can forget about the big squishy roll.
In fact, the paper in those big soft rolls can be even harsher than plain paper, because of the embossing process.*
500-sheet, 2-ply ShitBegone lasts as long as a 1000-sheet, 1-ply roll, because it is the same amount of paper. Yet ShitBegone costs less than many 1000-sheet brands, especially other 100% recycled brands, meaning it is a better deal.
Also, since ShitBegone is 2-ply 500 sheet instead of 1-ply 1000 sheet, that means it's twice as thick... which means you spend less time unrolling and folding up the paper, and makes it less likely to break or leak through.
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